 Image by Tara Winstead - Pexels I was worried about what to write about this summer. And then, in a moment of what I can only describe as helpful irony, it occurred to me: I should write about worry. After all, worry is one of the most common concerns I hear about in counseling. Whether it's health, finances, family, work, politics, aging parents, adult children, or simply uncertainty about the future, many of us spend a surprising amount of time mentally rehearsing problems that haven't happened. A little worry is normal. In fact, worry evolved for a reason. It helps us anticipate challenges and prepare for the future. The problem is that worry often outlives its usefulness. When Worry Stops HelpingWorry tends to pull us out of the present moment and into an imagined future. Our bodies react as if the problem is happening right now, even when we're sitting safely at home drinking our morning coffee. Research suggests that many of the things people worry about either never happen or turn out to be much more manageable than anticipated. Yet our minds keep sounding the alarm, just in case. The result?
When Worry Becomes a HabitOne reason worry can feel so automatic is because it often becomes a habit. The more frequently we respond to uncertainty by worrying, the more our brains learn that worry is our "go-to" response. Over time, the pathway becomes familiar and well-traveled. The encouraging news is that the brain is capable of change. This concept, known as neuroplasticity, means that new habits and new ways of responding can be learned throughout life. The less we practice worry, the less automatic it can become. Sometimes We Learn to WorryMany of us grew up around people who worried a lot. Children naturally learn by observing the adults around them. If worry was modeled as a way to show love, responsibility, or caring, it's understandable that we might carry that pattern into adulthood. Have you ever heard phrases like: "Call me when you get home so I don't worry." Or received a text asking, "Are you okay?" when nothing was wrong? Often these messages come from a place of love. But they can also teach us that worrying is how we care. What if caring and worrying aren't actually the same thing? The Illusion of ControlSome people worry because part of them believes that if they think through every possible problem, they'll be prepared for whatever happens. Others fear that letting go of worry means they'll be caught off guard. In reality, worry rarely prevents bad things from happening. What it often does is make us suffer twice: once in our imagination and then again if a problem actually occurs. A Stoic PerspectiveThe ancient Stoics had a surprisingly modern view of worry. They encouraged people to focus on what they could control and release what they could not. As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus taught: "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." Marcus Aurelius offered a similar reminder: "You have power over your mind—not outside events." Simple advice, but not always easy to practice. A Reiki PerspectiveOne of the Reiki principles says: "Just for today, I will not worry." I love the gentleness of this idea. Notice it doesn't say, "Never worry again." It simply asks us to set worry down for today. Tomorrow can take care of itself. And tomorrow, we can make the same choice again. Breaking the Worry CycleWhen a worry shows up, try asking yourself: Is this a problem I can do something about right now? If the answer is yes, move into problem-solving mode. Make a plan. Take one small step. If the answer is no, gently redirect your attention back to the present moment.
The Benefits of Worrying LessWhen we spend less time worrying, we often notice:
A Thought to Carry With You"The goal isn't to eliminate worry completely. The goal is to stop letting worry run the show." Whether you're prone to occasional worry or lifelong overthinking, remember that worry is a habit, not a destiny. And habits can change. Warmly, Tracy Hunt, MSEd, LPCC Turning Inward Counseling Ohio Counseling for Adults www.turninginwardllc.com
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Author: Tracy Hunt MSEd, LPCC in Ohio
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